My apologies for silence these past couple of weeks. A little oral surgery and Lenten life intruded on keeping my covenant to post reflections on Abbot Casey's book.
Sometimes in the midst of all the weariness and demands I felt overwhelmed by the idea of 'blogging on "Toward God." Now I think I may have set myself up to fail. I think I tried too hard to write a complete summary of each chapter, whereas it's both easier and perhaps invites more response if I only share a few personal thoughts.
"Models of Prayer" speaks of two practices. The first is how good it is to base one's daily prayer engaging the Bible, and to carry a bit of that around with us throughout the day. Kind of like a "personal Bible"--words or phrases that strike one's heart that can be kept in mind, chewed on throughout the day. That happens for me more by accident right now, as I read the day's Office interspersed with silence and some chance for private prayer. Sometimes a word or verse jumps up and hits me between the eyes. Sometimes a passage feels awkward or off-putting, and it is that very sense of unease that makes it haunt me throughout the day. Sometimes none of these things happen, and I am distracted and fog out no matter how many times I try and bring my attention back to the text. Well, God's not a vending machine and the Bible is not some sort of spiritual all-you-can-eat buffet. I find myself just admitting my blindness and obtuseness and asking God to have mercy on me and that. How about the rest of you?
The other practice is basing one's prayer in the forms and spirit that we find in the Bible's own prayer. Although there are many examples, the most powerful and numerous examples are the Psalms.
The Psalms first crashed in on me as astounding forms of prayer when I was a senior in high school. The rawness of the speech of the Psalms, the directness of the address to God, and the rawness as well of the emotions of the Psalms--exaltation and ecstasy, rage and vindictiveness, depression and despair, wonder and questions, dryness and desolation--made me feel that there was room for me and my dark and brooding heart somewhere in there. I still feel that. Praying the Psalms daily is the one practice that keeps me even a little focused, that makes faith possible--on days when I feel nothing, the Psalms carry me, and sometimes even help me pray that "nothing" that I feel.
If God likes being addressed as the Psalms address God, then we are welcome in God's presence in all of our turbulent, unresolved, still-to-be-redeemed-fully humanity.
What have been your experiences with the Psalms?
1 comment:
This morning I completed reading Toward God. After reading Kurts+ posting on Chapter 8, I was reflecting back many years ago about how it was literally beat out of me as I studied for ordination and later profession as a Franciscan Grey Friar, that it was very dangerous and in most cases inappropriate to read outside the full context. So, Models of Prayer make no sense to me as a stand alone, but incredible sense to me in the full context of the book. But, I digress.
The Psalms became part of my life when I was about high school age. So did reading the Daily Offices become part of my life at about that time. I was told by a wise priest that if I allowed the reading of the offices and scripture to hold a prime spot in my life that over time I would stop reading the office and scripture and they would begin to read me. Funny thing how that has happened. My disipline is to read the Psalms in the 30 day cycle. Sometimes it is so bland and awful to keep the discipline, sometimes it is pure joy, sometimes instructive to a situation in my life. There have been prolonged periods of nothing but boredom and other times I want to do nothing else during the day but read Psalms. What I have noticed, however, over the years is how spontaneously the Psalms, the Office etc. bubble to the top of my thinking during the day and at times I am so unready for them to pop by for a visit. It is a good thang, at least for me as God has given me a gift of memory and awareness. Now, if only it would stay with me 24/7.
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